


nobody needs to know

by jennycaakes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 22:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12850686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes
Summary: It's not that Monty doesn't want to date Miller. Monty actually really wants to date Miller, like a lot. But Jasper's in the worst break-up of his life, and no way in hell is Monty going to date Miller while Jasper's spending every second of the day sobbing to himself. Right?





	nobody needs to know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MelikaElena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelikaElena/gifts).



> ANYWAY I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED MEL'S BIRTHDAY SO THIS IS FOR MEL I LOVE YOU MEL

Monty’s not entirely sure how he manages to get away from Jasper long enough to get them drinks. Jasper’s a complete and total wreck. He looks okay now, sure, but it’s only because he’s past the _extreme sobbing_ portion of his breakup and is now in that strange haze and numbness phase where sometimes he’s caught muttering to himself about his “hopeless future”.

He agreed to come to Wells’ birthday because it was for _Wells_ and no one can say no to Wells, but he’s miserable. Monty knows that he’s miserable. Monty’s been sitting close enough all night that Jasper can reach out at any moment and seize his arm, squeezing hard enough to bruise, trying to keep himself from slipping back into the crying.

He and Maya are officially broken up.

It’s a shame, really, because Monty really _liked_ Maya. She was nice and made Jasper smile and fit in pretty well with their friend group. She always encouraged Jasper to do better, be better, and that was great. But she reached a point where she wanted a serious boyfriend, a boyfriend that wasn’t always making pranks and self-deprecating jokes about dying and had a real job that consisted of something other than making Snapchat filters. She asked him to grow up and he didn’t, and so that was that.

Raven’s in the kitchen as Monty is pouring the drinks, making sure Jasper’s rum and coke is mostly coke (while his is mostly rum), and she offers him a gentle smile. “He doing okay?” she asks.

“They were together for two years,” Monty murmurs, hurrying to finish the drinks. After a sip of his own, he knows he’s going to be way more drunk than Jasper, but Monty knows how to handle his liquor. And while he loves his best friend more than himself sometimes, he just _can’t_ listen to another babble of missing her. “He’s upset. But it’s okay. We’re okay.”

Raven tips her head slightly to the side. “Okay. Well Miller’s drinking vodka tonight.”

Monty narrows his eyes, pausing in his step backwards toward the living room. “Good for Miller?” Monty asks.

Raven shrugs, sipping from her red plastic cup and letting the silence drag on. Something inside of him is in a hurry to get back to Jasper, yet his feet aren’t moving. Monty waits.

Finally, she lowers her cup. “He drinks tequila when he wants to get lucky,” she says. “Rum when he’s trying to forget.”

Miller _is_ very particular about his drinks, Monty realizes.

He hesitates before asking, “And vodka?”

“For when he needs some liquid courage,” Raven says. Her smile is dangerous. “Just maybe find a moment away from Jasper tonight, if you can.”

Monty’s mouth feels dry. “What are you saying?” he rasps.

Raven shrugs again and Monty feels his heart pick up speed in his chest. He glances over his shoulder, unsure if he’s looking for Miller or Jasper, and hurries back to the couch without another word.

Why _tonight_?

It’s true that Miller and Monty have been dancing around each other for a few months now, but Monty wasn’t sure if Miller ever felt the same or if that’s just how he was -- charming and flirtatious and secretly soft. Monty’s had the biggest stupidest crush on Miller for what feels like forever. He’s--well, for starters he’s insanely good looking. Like, it should be illegal. But Miller’s also determined, and he’s loyal, and he’s cunning, and now Monty’s just listing off various qualities for the Sorting Hat.

But--whatever. Miller’s _a lot._ And Monty’s feelings for him are also _a lot_.

But if tonight--if Miller somehow _does_ feel the same, and somehow tonight is the night he makes a move--that’s crazy unfair. It’s crazy unfair! Monty can’t get with Miller while Jasper’s a ruined wreck because of a relationship! Not that Miller actually wants to get with Monty. Monty’s making assumptions based on Raven’s words. Maybe he’s freaking out for no reason.

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Monty murmurs to himself before settling back down on the couch, passing Jasper his drink.

“What was that?” Jasper asks.

“Nothing.” Monty’s just going to avoid Miller for the entire night. “Don’t drink this too fast, yeah?”

Jasper responds by chugging the entire drink. Monty huffs as Jasper sinks down into his seat, eyes cast out across the room. “Maybe I’m just unlovable,” he says.

“Untrue,” Monty returns. “I know this because _I_ love you.”

“Ugh. It’s not the same.” Monty smiles, nudging his friend slightly. “Should I socialize? God, I feel like death. Why did I agree to be here? I want to die.” Monty nudges him again and Jasper sets his empty cup aside before dropping his head into his hands. “Today sucks.”

“Yesterday sucked, too,” Monty says. “And the day before.”

“And tomorrow,” Jasper concludes. “And the rest of forever.” Monty takes a big drink from his own cup as Jasper tugs on his hair. “Man. Fuck. I’m totally downing Wells’ party.”

“Nah, Raven’s flirting with him a lot so he can’t really pay attention to anything else. And as long as Wells is happy at his own party then the rest of the mood doesn’t matter.”

Jasper looks up and across the room. “Yeah if Raven flirted with me I’d probably swoon, too.” Monty thinks, for a moment, that he’s going to make a joke, but then Jasper’s eyes prickle with tears. “God _fuck_ ,” he exhales sharply, lifting the palms of his hands to rub at his eyes. “I freaking _loved her_ , Monty.”

“Hey, I know.” Monty reaches out, dropping his hand on carefully on Jasper’s shoulder. “I know, man.”

“I could’ve changed for her,” he rasps.

“That Jasper would’ve been the worst Jasper ever,” Monty says, not even sure if it’s the right thing to say. Or even if it’s true. “Like--a Jasper who has a 9-5 job and forgets to prank people on April Fools and doesn’t laugh at those Facebook videos full of people falling over? No thanks.”

Jasper lets out a strangled laugh. “I could’ve made it work,” he says weakly.

“Two different worlds, man,” Monty tells him. “Two different worlds.”

* * *

Nate knows that Jasper’s in a fragile state.

After he and Bryan broke up, Nate was a wreck for awhile too. Sometimes, if Nate thinks about it, it still hurts. But that was years ago and time heals all wounds or whatever and he’s okay now. In fact, now Bryan is the furthest thing from his mind.

“You gonna do it?” Bellamy asks, his heavy hand on Nate’s shoulder. Nate knocks back the rest of his drink, which is four parts vodka and one part soda. He winces a little but then nods. “Do you need me to distract Jasper?” Bellamy asks.

“Fucking please,” Nate says, turning to Bellamy. Every step that Nate makes in Monty’s direction, Monty finds a way to turn the conversation back to Jasper. Which, great. Monty’s a great friend. That’s part of the reason Nate’s so fucking into him. But Monty’s really dedicating his entire night to Jasper, and Nate’s been working up to this moment for much too long to back down now. “It’d be super helpful.”

Bellamy smirks. “Yeah, I got you.” He squeezes Nate’s shoulder. “I’d say good luck, but I don’t really think you need it.”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Nate murmurs back.

Bellamy crosses the room to where Jasper and Monty are sitting on the couch and squeezes himself between the two of them. “Hey, man,” Bellamy says, directed to Jasper, and Nate lingers back against the wall. He literally watches the tension easing from Monty as he lets out a deep and heavy sigh. “I’ve been thinking about adopting a cat,” Bellamy says. “Went to the shelter the other day and took some pictures.”

Jasper perks up a bit. “You have pictures? I love cats, can I see?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says, pulling out his phone. “I know you love cats,” he says with a little laugh. “I remember how heartbroken you were when you and Monty moved apartments and your new place couldn’t have them.” Bellamy nudges Monty sharply as if saying _take a breath, idiot_ , and Monty flies to his feet.

Nate expects him to rush for another drink but he ends up moving down the dark, uncrowded hallway that’s opposite of where Nate’s currently resting against the wall. He sets his empty cup down and moves quickly, rushing after Monty before he can disappear. He finds Monty leaning against the wall, his head tipped toward the ceiling and his eyes closed.

“Hey,” Nate says slowly.

Monty’s eyes snap open and he turns, a crooked tired smile filling his face. “Hi,” Monty says gently. He reaches up, rubbing at his eyes as he stands a little straighter so he can carry on a normal conversation.

“Rough night?”

“Jasper’s a lot,” Monty answers. “But I’m okay. Just needed a minute.”

Nate nods as he slowly steps forward. “Glad to hear it,” he says. He watches Monty swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and takes another step toward him. “You know, I’ve been trying to talk to you all night,” Nate murmurs. He needs to just _go_ for it. He likes Monty too much to keep this secret inside of him any longer.

“You have?” Monty asks.

Nate purses his lips. “Yeah. And you’ve been _avoiding me_ all night.”

Monty’s eyes drop to the ground and the air feels suddenly a lot more tense than Nate was imagining this moment to be. “Raven said you were drinking vodka,” Monty murmurs. “I just figured it was easiest for me to stay away.”

It takes Nate a second to realize what Monty’s saying. That he knew Nate was going to try to approach him tonight. And if Monty knew Nate was going to try to approach him, he had to have known _why_. And if Monty knew _why_ and thought it was easiest for him to just stay away, that must mean one thing.

Monty doesn’t feel the same.

Nate’s chest feels like it’s full of hot coals. “Oh.” Something solidifies in his stomach and spiders through his ribs, into his fingertips. Nate swallows, making himself nod, feeling like a fucking _idiot_. “Bellamy, ah--said something the other day,” Nate carries on, trying to explain himself and knowing it doesn’t sound great. He’s been rejected before but with Monty it’s different, he’d actually _hoped_ …

And then Bellamy had to tease him with the, “When are you and Monty finally going to get together? Everyone’s just waiting, man.” And then tonight, Bellamy’s insistence that Monty _had_ to feel the same, and Nate thought he really had a chance.

“Sorry,” Nate finally says, turning to walk away. “I’ll give you a moment to breathe. I just--sorry.”

“Wait,” Monty hurries forward, his fingers hooking through Nate’s belt loops. “Nate, that’s not--” Monty pauses, tugging Nate incrementally closer. “That’s not what I meant,” Monty rushes.

Hope returns, and Miller knows it’s dangerous, but it takes root in his chest anyway and sprouts in an instant, yellow flowers blooming inside of him. Monty called him Nate.

Nate’s lips part. “What did you mean then?”

Monty casts a glance down the dark hallway, back into the living room, before looking up at him. “I meant that my best friend is in the middle of the worst breakup of his life,” Monty says, his voice soft. “And if I happened to start dating the guy I’ve been crazy about for months while he’s _suffering_ it just… it wouldn’t be right.”

Nate’s throat is dry. “Months?” he rasps. Monty’s smile starts small but soon he’s fucking beaming, brighter than any form of sunshine Nate’s ever seen. A laugh rumbles inside Nate’s chest. “Wait, wait,” Nate’s mind is all forms of sluggish after this declaration. “Dating? You want to date me? Like, boyfriends?”

Monty’s smile slips for a moment. “Did you just want to hook up?” he asks. “Because if so then totally ignore everything I just--”

Nate bends down, lips stretched out for Monty’s, desperate to just fucking kiss this boy who he likes so fucking much, when Monty’s hands rear up and press firm against Nate’s chest.

“I want to,” Monty breathes, half-kissing Miller back and half trying to push him away. “I really--but Nate, I can’t I can’t I can’t.” He manages another kiss before casting a glance over Monty’s shoulder, down the hallway, before wrapping his fingers around Monty’s wrist and tugging him backwards, down toward the bathroom. Monty laughs, sounding wild and happy. “I should get back to Jasper,” Monty says as Nate pulls the bathroom door shut and pins Monty back against it. “Really,” he breathes. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

“Let Bellamy take care of him for a minute,” Nate murmurs.

There’s no more protesting. Instead Monty cups both of Nate’s cheeks and yanks him down, kissing him with every ounce of eagerness that Miller had been hoping for at the beginning of this. Nate’s hands press firm against Monty’s side before moving up, beneath his shirt, against his skin. Monty smiles into the kiss which makes it difficult to keep kissing him, but Nate can’t stop. He doesn’t want to ever stop. His hand eases up Monty’s spine and Monty groans and Nate _wants_.

 _Boyfriend_ , Nate thinks, deliriously happy.

“I have to go,” Monty forces out. He thunks his head backwards against the door and Nate is still trying to get control over his racing heart. He’s thought about this happening too many times to count, and having Monty’s warm breath actually against his mouth makes it hard to even think. “Nate,” Monty exhales as Nate leans in again, nose bumping Monty’s. He sounds sad.

“Don’t tell me you can’t do this,” Nate murmurs before kissing him again. Monty responds enthusiastically, kissing him firmly and keeping him close. “Do you want this?”

“Yes,” Monty manages.

“Okay. Me too.” Nate kisses him again. He wants to kiss Monty every day for the rest of his goddamn life. “Not just a hook up, either,” he confirms, finally finishing Monty’s inquiry from earlier.

Monty breathes out a laugh between them. “Good.”

Nate’s hands ease down Monty’s back and he groans in frustration, leaning in toward Monty, dipping down low. “Just stay a bit longer,” he whispers into the nape of his neck. He can’t fight his smile at the way Monty shivers. He presses a warm kiss to the stretch of skin by his collarbone. “We don’t have to say anything to anyone,” Nate murmurs as he makes his way down Monty’s neck.. “Not while Jasper’s… grieving.”

Monty laughs, tugging Nate back up so he can kiss him firmly another time. “Like--anyone?” he asks.

“If you want to keep it a secret,” Nate confirms. He doesn’t _want_ to keep it a secret, but if that’s how he can have Monty for the time being then he’ll do it. Nate understands the pain of heartbreak too, and he doesn’t necessarily want to flaunt his happiness in front of Jasper. He’s not a dick. “Bellamy’ll tell Clarke, Clarke’ll tell Bellamy. Both of them suck at secrets.” Nate brushes Monty’s hair from his forehead. “Raven will get drunk and blurt it out. Octavia is not subtle. Harper would make an announcement. Murphy too.” Nate looks into Monty’s eyes, which are bright and warm, and can’t fight the flame that ignites in his chest. “We can keep this to ourselves until Jasper’s not so broken. So it doesn’t hurt him.”  

“I really don’t want to hurt him,” Monty breathes.

“I know. I know.” Nate brushes his thumb over Monty’s chin. “I know how important he is to you.”

“I just want him to be happy.”

“I _know_ ,” Nate says again. “So if you want this…”

“Which I do,” Monty says quickly.

“Then we can keep it quiet,” Nate finishes. “Until you think he’s ready.”

Monty nods, looking nervous and hesitant but happy, before he arches up for another kiss. “Might be a while,” he whispers. “He’s really… I mean, if you don’t want to have to sneak around, or--”

“I don’t mind,” Nate whispers back. “I just want to be with you.”

Monty laughs, sounding brighter than a star, and drops his head backwards against the door another time. “Wow. Okay. Okay.” He licks his lips. “Someone is getting suspicious that I’ve been gone for so long,” he says. “I can feel it. So I should go.” He meets Nate’s eyes another time before reaching for the door handle. “Really wish I could go home with you tonight,” he breathes. “Like _so bad_.”

“Another night,” Nate promises.

Nate thinks that’s it for the night but then Monty’s on him again, his hands framing Miller’s face. “This means no one else,” Monty blurts out quickly. “Right? I just want to be sure.”

“No one else,” Nate confirms with a smile. “Just you.”

“Okay, cool,” Monty says. He’s absolutely grinning. Monty kisses him one last time and it takes the strength of mountains to keep Nate’s grin from splitting his face in two.

* * *

Monty stops in the kitchen to grab another drink before he returns to Jasper on the couch, who’s still in deep conversation with Bellamy about _cats_ , desperate to try and hide the smile that keeps sneaking back onto his features. Part of him is worried that Jasper is going to smell it on him. Literally. Monty’s whined about Miller’s aftershave to Jasper dozens of times and now it’s on his skin, burning in the best way.

He mixes himself something light, not wanting his mind to stray away from him, and looks up to find Clarke entering the kitchen as well. She places her empty beer bottle in the recycling before starting for the fridge to grab another, an eyebrow arched.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” Monty returns.

Clarke reaches for the bottle opener and pops off the lid. “You were missing for a bit. You okay?”

“Yeah,” Monty confirms with a smile. “I’m great.”

He returns to the living room in time to watch Bellamy shoot Miller a look, to which Miller responds with a gentle shake of his head, followed by Bellamy’s frown. Later, when Monty catches Miller’s eyes, they’re shining.

* * *

In theory, hiding a relationship from all of their friends shouldn’t be that hard. Bellamy’s always over at Clarke’s place and Murphy’s usually at Emori’s, so if Monty wants to come over to Nate’s apartment it will most likely be empty. Murphy is a bit of a wildcard though, so that could be a risk. If Nate wants to go to Monty’s, he just has to sneak in without being caught. Jasper’s been spending most of his time in his bedroom ever since Maya ended things.

So, being at one another’s place seems easy enough.

Other than that, when everyone’s together, it just has to be like it’s always been. The two of them have been on the verge of this for months now, so it’s not like it’s going to stand out to anyone if they don’t change how they’ve been acting. There might be more smiles on Nate’s part, seeing as he’s a fucking sap, but nothing he can’t explain away.

The real struggle will be _dates_.

“I don’t know,” Monty says as he settles into the booth across from Nate. They’ve driven maybe a bit too far out of the way for dinner so they don’t run into anyone they know, but whatever. They’re doing this. All in. Dates and everything. “I feel weird lying to Harper. It’s like she’s babysitting Jasper while I’m off doing something secret.”

Nate reaches across the table to grab Monty’s hands. “She _is_ babysitting Jasper while you’re off doing something secret.”

Monty groans. “I told her it was a work emergency.”

“Did she bring alcohol?”

“So much,” Monty says.

“They’ll be fine,” Nate insists. “She’ll probably put on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Jasper will fall asleep clutching a pillow and then you’ll be back in time to put him in bed.”

Monty groans another time, dropping his head down to the table with a thud. They have to figure out a happy medium. Nate tugs Monty’s hands up and kisses his knuckles, feeling selfish and greedy but also happy that he’s managed to get some time alone with Monty at all.

“Hey,” Nate says softly. Monty sighs before sitting up, looking distraught. “Text Harper. See if Jasper’s okay. Then no more talk about either of them for the rest of the night.”

Monty nods before digging into his pocket to pull out his phone. They’re both quiet while Monty sends his text, and again while they wait for a response. Soon Monty lets out a little laugh and turns his phone to show Nate a photo of Jasper wrapped around a tub of ice cream, eating it by the spoonful.

“Phone away now?” Monty asks.

“Please.”

Monty slips his phone back into his pocket and reaches back across the table, joining their hands again. The place they’ve chosen is nice and romantic, small, with soft lighting all over. Monty’s face is glowing from the candlelight and his smile is warm.

“Hi,” Monty says.

Nate laughs. “Hi,” he returns.

* * *

Monty wakes up to Jasper crawling into bed with him. It’s late, Monty got home a lot later than he was expecting after his date with Miller, but he thought that Jasper was way asleep. He sounds a little sniffly and Monty shifts over to the side of the bed without hesitation, making room for his best friend.

Jasper’s clearly trying not to cry, but his breath is stuttered and hiccupy anyway. “Bad dream?” Monty asks softly.

Jasper barks out a wet laugh. “Bad life,” he answers. Monty pulls him close, letting Jasper settle down on his chest. “Sorry I’m a shitty roommate,” Jasper forces out. “Can’t even fucking sleep alone.”

Monty pats his head fondly. He should’ve checked in on Jasper once he got home, but he was so happy and sated that all he wanted to do was climb into bed. Making out with Miller against his car was like, the best way to end their date together. He was sleepy after the drive, feeling warm, and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed after Harper left.

“You’re not a shitty roommate,” Monty tells him. Jasper sniffles again. “How was hanging out with Harper?”

“She’s getting me addicted to a new show on Netflix,” Jasper mutters. “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?” Monty laughs. He misses Miller. If he keeps calling Nate, _Miller_ in his head, maybe he’ll be less likely to slip up. “You like that show?”

“We can watch some tomorrow,” Monty says. “Sleep, now.”

* * *

**Nate  
** You know that I don’t understand meme culture

 **Monty  
** you’re not even trying!!!!

 **Nate  
** Please don’t send me another link to know your meme dot com

 **Monty  
** why do you hate everything i stand for!!!

Nate can’t help but laugh, and Bellamy enters the kitchen with an eyebrow arched in response. “You okay?”  Bellamy asks.

Nate gestures to his phone. “Monty,” he says with a little shrug. “He’s dumb.”

“Yeah, that’s why you like him.”

“Yeah,” Nate agrees softly. Bellamy pours himself a mug of coffee while Nate flips his phone, screen down onto the table before Bellamy can join him. Bellamy’s known, maybe even before Nate knew himself, that Nate liked Monty. They’ve always been good at reading each other, and once Bellamy and Clarke actually got around to dating, Bellamy has seen himself as some relationship guru. “Are we still going to that thing for Raven’s organization next weekend?” he asks.

“The gala? Yeah, I think so.” Bellamy sips his coffee. “Back to Monty.”

Nate rolls his eyes. “Back to Monty,” he echoes.

“I feel like I never got clarification from Wells’ birthday,” Bellamy says. “Did you tell him how you feel and he didn’t feel the same? Or?”

“I just couldn’t get it out right,” Nate tells him. “Maybe I’m not ready.”

“You’re definitely ready.”

“Thanks, Dad, I appreciate your vote of confidence.” Bellamy laughs, setting down his drink. “It took you a while to act on your feelings for Clarke. Leave me alone. I’m working on it.”

“I just like seeing you smile, man,” Bellamy says. “I know he makes you happy.”

Nate’s phone buzzes another time. He reaches for it, turning it to only he can see, and can’t fight his smile at the message he reads.

 **Monty  
** fine, memes or not i miss you. can we get coffee so i can see your stupid face?

“Yeah,” Nate agrees, tapping out a response to Monty, “he does.”

* * *

While extra fancy dates that are super romantic like _dinner_ or _walks to watch the sunset_ have to be well hidden, it’s not like Miller and Monty weren’t already doing things together.

Monty winds his scarf around his throat and looks toward Jasper on the couch, half-asleep, half watching Brooklyn-99 reruns. “You sure you’ll be okay for a bit?” Monty asks. He hates leaving Jasper alone, even though it’s the middle of the day and he’s made sure to open the curtains to let sunlight in.

Jasper waves his hand back at him. “I know you’re dying to spend time with Miller. Really, go.”

“It’s just coffee,” Monty says, feeling his face warm. Just weeks ago it really _was_ just coffee, the two of them sitting side by side on a bench and pretending like there was nothing more to it. Monty used to think that anything with Miller was a freaking pipe dream. He’d convinced himself of it. “Nothing special.”

“Sure, sure,” Jasper murmurs.

“Jasp.”

Jasper turns around to look over the couch at him. “I know you like the guy,” Jasper says. His eyes grow distant for a moment, grow wet. He sounds a little wrecked when he says, “Maybe it’ll be something more one day.”

Guilt tugs at Monty’s chest. “And maybe not,” he lies. Jasper sniffles, looking down, before turning back to the TV. “I’ll bring you back something,” Monty says. “Hot chocolate okay?”

“Yeah,” Jasper rasps. He sinks down on the couch, wrapping his blankets more around him. “Have fun.”

Monty sighs, and the guilt lingers until he actually makes it to the place on Main Street and sees Miller already sitting at a back table. He likes Miller so freaking much it’s insane. Miller looks up, his eyes finding Monty through the storefront windows, and the smile that lights his face makes Monty dizzy. He hurries inside and orders a green tea before making his way to where Miller’s sitting.

Not even caring if anyone they know is around, Monty leans in to greet him with a kiss, and Miller smiles as he pulls back. “Your nose is cold,” Miller says.

“That’d be because it’s cold outside,” Monty returns.

Miller laughs before leaning in again, tugging Monty closer by his scarf. “I like you,” Miller murmurs.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

* * *

Raven’s work gala arrives and Nate wants nothing more than to drag Monty to a dark corner of the building and pin him against the wall. It’s unfair when he dresses up and looks so fucking good and Nate’s not allowed to do anything about it. Monty even _knows_ , because he smirks every time he catches Nate looking.

Clarke elbows Nate in the side. “You ever going to jump on that?” she asks, tipping her head to where Monty stands. He and Raven are currently rambling about some guest speaker of the night that Monty’s insanely excited to see. The way he speaks so enthusiastically makes Nate feel ten degrees warmer. “Monty,” she clarifies.

“Yeah, I figured, seeing as Raven’s not really my type.”

“Which is a shame, seeing as you two would make the hottest couple ever,” Clarke teases.

“She’s also dating Wells, so I mean.”

“True that.”

Nate sips from his champagne flute. “Soon, I think,” Nate tells her. He turns then, searching the room until he finds Jasper. He’s standing with Harper and Monroe, a soft but real smile on his face, and Nate considers that some progress.

“Great, because you two will make the hottest couple ever.”

“I’m starting to think any relationship I’m in will lead to me being part of the hottest couple ever?” Nate asks. Clarke nudges him with a laugh. “Don’t tell Bellamy,” he jokes, “you know how jealous he can be.”

* * *

Monty’s having a really great night when he realizes that Jasper’s on the verge of a breakdown. The speaker for Raven’s work gala is some crazy genius biomedical tech woman who keeps Monty captivated from the moment she starts to speak. He gets to spend his time floating between friends that he feels like he hasn’t gotten to seen in forever, catching up about their weeks. He gets to stare at Miller all dressed up, a dark and needful look in his eyes.

But then, on his way back from the restroom, he finds Jasper sitting alone at the bar.

Monty looks out across the crowd before hurrying over, sliding into the seat beside Jasper. “Hey, man,” he says softly.

Jasper’s eyes are wet. “She texted me,” he says.

“What?”

“Maya,” he practically sobs. “She texted to see how I was doing.” He reaches for a glass on the bar and knocks back a dark liquid before pushing the glass aside. It clinks when it hits another, and then Monty counts six glasses piling up in total.

“Holy fuck Jasper,” Monty says. “What are you drinking?”

“It’s whiskey,” the bartender says.

“You gave him six whiskey shots?”

“He paid me,” the guy says with a shrug.

Jasper drops his head into his hands. “I haven’t responded yet,” Jasper says, and his words are starting to slur. Maybe they’ve been slurring this whole time. “Should I respond? I was doing so well, Monty, now everything _hurts_.”

Monty sighs, reaching up to squeeze Jasper’s shoulder. “Let me grab my phone,” he says. “I’ll call us an Uber, okay? Don’t text her back.”

He hops out of his seat before he can get a response and rushes for the coatroom, past a herd of his friends who all look slightly concerned. Before he knows it Miller’s behind him, eyebrows furrowed. “Jasper?” Miller asks.

“Maya texted,” he says, digging through the closet for their coats. “I’m going to call an Uber.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, let me drive you.”

Monty turns. “Nate,” he says softly.

Miller steps toward him, carefully reaching up to brush his hair from his face. “Let me drive you,” he says again. Monty leans into his touch and lets out a short breath. One day they won’t have be hidden to embrace like this. Monty turns and stretches forward, pressing a kiss to Miller’s wrist. “Let’s go get him.”

“I don’t mind calling an Uber,” Monty says as Miller turns, striding back toward the bar. “Really, Nate, it’s not that big of a deal. Are you even good to drive?”

“I had a glass of champagne an hour ago. I’m good.”

The sound of shouting as they get closer to the main room gets louder, “--and I’d _almost_ bought a ring!”

“Oh fuck,” Monty murmurs.

Jasper’s leaning over the bar now, talking with the bartender, and it looks like there’s another fucking whiskey shot off to the side. He wonders if he can report asshole bartenders who clearly just are looking for profit, before Jasper starts ranting again.

“Then she _dumped_ me,” Jasper says, all of his words slushed together. “Probably because I’m…” he lifts his arm, wagging it around. “Noodle?”

“Jasper, come on,” Monty says, winding his arms around Jasper’s waist to pull him from the bar. “Miller’s going to drive us home.”

“Like a gangly dw-ork?” he asks. “What?”

“And fuck you for giving him more alcohol,” Monty snaps to the bartender as he carries Jasper away, ignoring his confusing and confused questions. “Nate?”

“Take my keys, I’ll tell everyone that we’re leaving.” He presses his keys into Monty’s hands before starting back for their friends, and Monty drags Jasper along toward the door.

“Sss-fucking _Nate_ ,” Jasper murmurs. “Lovely lala land bullshit.”

“You’re super coherent,” Monty says.

“You _like_ him,” Jasper rasps.

Monty sighs. “Yeah, I really do.”

Jasper starts crying immediately. “Don’t _wanna_ feel like this anymore,” he cries. “Wanna be _happy_ and have _cats_.”

“We’ll adopt a cat, okay? Fuck our landlord.” Jasper keeps crying. “We’ll adopt a cat and you’ll move on and we’ll be okay, Jasper, I promise.”

Miller arrives moments later, having rushed out. “Sorry, I should’ve helped you carry him,” Miller says. “How much did he drink?”

“Only a lil,” Jasper murmurs through his tears.

“A lot of whiskey. Too much whiskey,” Monty corrects. He passes Miller back the car keys and shove Jasper inside once they get the door open. “Jasp, just lay down, okay?”

Jasper settles down with his head in Monty’s lap in the backseat while Miller climbs up front.

In truth, Monty knows where this is going the second he climbs into the back of Miller’s car, but with Jasper drunken rambling in his lap he can’t even think that far ahead. Jasper mutters something about _Hamilton_ so Miller passes Monty the aux cord, and soon enough Aaron Burr, Sir, is blasting through the speakers. Jasper mumbles along with the words while Monty strokes his head, mentally begging Jasper not to throw up.

When Miller parks in their apartment complex, Monty helps Jasper out to stand. “You really don’t have to come up,” Monty insists, but Miller walks over to the other side of Jasper and helps him walk. Thankfully the elevator in their building is fixed so it’s not all that long until they’re actually at their apartment. “I’ve got him,” Monty insists.

Miller lets Monty guide Jasper to his bedroom all on his own, and Monty half expects Miller to be gone by the time he returns after tucking Jasper in with a trashcan by his bed. But of course Miller’s in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water, when Monty returns.

“Think he’s okay?” Miller asks.

“He’s had more before and been fine,” Monty says with a nod. “You didn’t have to drive us home, Nate, we could’ve taken an Uber.”

Miller knocks back the rest of his water before setting his glass aside. “Did you not want me to drive you?” he asks.

Oh, fuck it. Monty crosses the room to him and tugs him down into a wet kiss. “I’m just saying you didn’t _have_ to,” Monty exhales. Miller kisses him again, slowly, intentionally, before turning and pressing Monty against the kitchen counter.

“Wanted to do this all night,” Miller murmurs before Monty leans in again. “You’re so fucking hot, Monty.”

Monty laughs against Miller’s mouth. “You can’t be serious, have you seen yourself?”

“It’s not a competition.”

They kiss for awhile, the two of them indulging themselves for just a bit before Monty pulls away. “He’ll be out until at least noon,” Monty breathes as Miller nips at his neck. “You should stay the night.”

“Stay the night?” Miller asks.

“Nate,” he whines. Miller grins and Monty’s entire chest flares up. He slides his hands under Miller’s shirt that’s been untucked for awhile now and pushes upward, urging him to just fucking take it off already. Miller helps him along the way as they both unbutton their way toward the middle. They only break their kiss so they pull his dress shirt off and toss his undershirt to the side. Then Miller’s bare chest is pressed against him, firm and warm. “Mm,” Monty sighs.

“Can you be quiet?” Miller whispers.

“He’s going to be zonked,” Monty insists. “It doesn’t matter.”

Miller palms the front of his pants, causing Monty to groan. Miller puffs out a breath of a laugh at his response. “ _Monty_.”

“Yeah! Yes, God, I can--I mean, I can _try_.” Miller laughs again and it’s way too fond and sweet for Monty to handle. “We can go slow later,” Monty mutters, knowing that Miller’s going to absolutely torture him tonight. “For now I just--”

“Take your pants off,” Miller murmurs, that smile still in his voice.

Monty grins.

* * *

It’s only been a month or so of secretly dating, but Nate’s already kind of over it. He’s _especially_ over it in moments like this, Monty wound around him in bed, the sounds of the morning slowly coming to life outside filling Monty’s room. Not that they’ve had many moments like this before, but Nate craves more.

Nate’s been awake for a few minutes trying to soak in as much of this as he can. He matches his breathing to Monty’s and reaches up, brushing his fingers through Monty’s hair. There’s no way Jasper’s going to get out of bed soon, but Nate should still leave. He doesn’t want to get used to this if it’s not going to last.

“Nate,” Monty rasps, his voice thick with sleep.

“Hmm.”

Monty slips his hand around Nate’s chest and nuzzles closer. “Stay forever.”

Nate exhales a laugh. “If that’s what you want,” he says.

“Ugh.”

“Yeah,” Nate agrees quietly. “I know.”

Monty sits up slowly, propping himself up so he can get a better look at Nate. “Just a couple more weeks,” Monty promises. “He’s almost there. I can feel it. I mean, he downloaded Tinder a few days ago. That’s progress!”

“And he nearly broke down last night,” Nate reminds him. Monty sighs. “It’s okay, baby. Seriously.” He reaches forward, tugging Monty’s chin toward him gently so he can kiss him. “I’ll wait as long as you want me to.”

“I don’t want to wait at all,” Monty reminds him, and Nate nods. He knows. He knows that’s true. But Monty’s too fucking noble and Jasper’s still so fucking hurt and this is best for everyone right now. Nate tugs Monty toward him again and Monty pulls him close, propping himself up over Nate for a better angle. “I really like you,” Monty murmurs against his mouth. “I don’t _like_ keeping this a secret.”

“Hey, I know.”

“Can’t wait until I can change my Facebook relationship status,” Monty carries on.

Nate laughs again. “Monty, it’s cool. I get to be with you, that’s all I want.”

“You’re so freaking soft,” Monty mutters, and again Nate laughs. Monty shifts backwards so he can kiss his way down Nate’s chest, causing Nate to sink further into the mattress. “I want to do dumb cute stuff,” Monty says as he makes his way downward slowly. “Like wear your sweatshirts. And hold your hand.”

Nate swallows his groan. “Soon enough.”

“Hog all of your blankets. Keep a toothbrush at your place.”

“What kind of domestic dirty talk is this?” Nate rasps. Monty laughs near Nate’s belly button. He presses his lips to the stretch of skin beneath. The word _love_ lingers in the back of Nate’s mind but he pushes it away, knowing it’s too soon. “Trying to seduce me by being cute.”

Monty moves further down. “You think I’m going for cute here?” he asks.

“Don’t tease me, baby.”

Nate has to shove his fist into his mouth to keep quiet after that.

* * *

Nate doesn’t get back to his apartment until around noon. Jasper stumbles out into the kitchen and seems unfazed that Nate’s still there, apologizing for his behavior the night before and for the fact that Nate had to stay the night.

“It was fine,” Nate said before pouring Jasper some coffee. “I didn’t know you listened to _Hamilton_ ,” he teased.

Jasper groaned.

But Nate’s home now and Bellamy’s waiting for him in the living room. Nate kicks off his shoes before crossing the room, carefully joining Bellamy without questioning what’s wrong. It takes a few moments of silence before Bellamy breaks.

“So you stayed at Monty’s,” he says.

“They needed a ride back to their place,” Nate says. “It was late. I slept on the couch.”

Bellamy sighs. “You need to tell him how you feel, Miller.”

“It’s not the right time,” Nate returns. “Is that all?”

“Why is it not the right time?” Bellamy reaches up, dragging his hands through his hair. “You deserve to be happy!” Nate settles into neutral territory, making sure to keep his facial expressions in check. “It’s clear you care about him so much and I’m--I’m not crazy, okay, I know he feels the same for you. I know it.”

“It doesn’t matter what he feels,” Nate says slowly. “He’s too worried about Jasper. Even if I could get in a word edgewise, it wouldn’t matter. We all know Monty will always put Jasper above himself, and if he thinks dating me would upset him he wouldn’t go for it. Didn’t you see him last night?”

Bellamy sighs again. “I mean, yeah. I saw him. But--Jesus, Miller. If Monty wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be together, don’t you think Jasper would be happy for you both?”

Nate hasn’t thought of it that way before. Despite his flaws, Jasper _loves_ Monty. Nate and Monty being together, that… it might not upset him. Bellamy’s right. He might be happy for the two of them. Maybe even see it as a source of hope, a reason to move on.

“I don’t know,” Nate finally says, shaking his head. He’ll have to think about it.

* * *

“No Jasper tonight?” Clarke asks when Monty slides into the booth at the bar. Monty shrugs a little, taking a big drink from his glass.

It was sort of a sudden night out for all of them, seeing as the older they get the less the gang wants to go out on Friday nights after work, but Jasper didn’t want to join when Monty asked him about it.

“He told me he has plans,” Monty says, casting a look toward Miller who’s way too far away from him right now. Raven knows that Monty has a thing for Miller, maybe he can get her to switch seats so he can be closer to his boyfriend. “I didn’t want to press. Jasper never has plans. I didn’t want him to think I was treating him like he’s dysfunctional.”

“He is dysfunctional,” Raven murmurs. Bellamy elbows her. “I mean I love him to death,” Raven says, hands flying up as though she’s innocent. “But he’s definitely dysfunctional.”

“It was also pretty last minute,” Clarke says, looking down at her drink. It feels harder and harder to get the old gang back together in it’s entirety too. Work is exhausting for people, and sometimes people have other priorities. “I mean--Octavia’s not even here.”

“Harper and Wells either,” Miller adds.

“Or Murphy,” Bellamy adds.

“And thank God for that,” Raven says before knocking back her drink. “Aren’t Octavia and Lincoln camping?”

Bellamy waves his hand before reaching up to drape his arm over Clarke’s shoulder. “Something like that.” Clarke leans into him and Monty sighs, casting another look in Miller’s direction. Clarke notices the glance, follows his gaze, and then arches an eyebrow at Monty who quickly shakes his head in response.

“You miss dating, Monty?” Clarke asks, clearly not ignoring his headshake.

“What?” he asks. “No. You two are gross. I’m sighing at the gross-ness of couples.”

“We’re the least gross couple ever,” Bellamy says.

“I beg to differ,” Raven says. “Wells and I own that title.”

“No you do _not_ ,” Bellamy argues.

“Everyone dating is gross,” Miller says, stopping the fake fight before it can get out of control. “Relationships are the worst and you two, especially,” he says, pointing to Bellamy and Clarke, “are super gross.”

Clarke beams. “It’s the years of pent-up tension that really make it awful,” she says, and Bellamy grins. “Do you miss Harper?” Clarke asks, redirecting the attention to Monty.

“What!” Monty scoffs, trying to keep his face from turning red. “ _No!”_ He can’t bear to look in Miller’s direction, who is either smirking or quiet and tense. Monty’s not sure which would be worse. “Where is this coming from? We ended things on good terms like, forever ago.”

“It hasn’t even been a year,” Raven says. “I mean I’ve always wondered if it’s weird for you two.”

“It’s _not_ ,” Monty insists. He and Harper, whatever they had, it wasn’t long lasting. It was mostly just sex, it was never super intimate. Monty cared for her but there was something that just… never clicked. “Harper’s a good friend. Still. But I don’t… _miss_ her,” Monty says. When Monty works up the courage to look in Miller’s direction, his face is scary neutral. Even before they were together they’d talked about exes a few times, that’s what friends did. But never in their new context of being together. He wonders if Miller ever thinks about it. It’s not like Miller’s close with any of _his_ exes, after all.

“I have this friend at work,” Raven says, reaching for the basket of fries that Miller ordered earlier. “She could be your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Monty tells her.

“Aw, leave him alone,”  Bellamy responds while Raven waggles her eyebrows teasingly. “If Monty thinks couple are gross, Monty thinks couples are gross.”

“Okay--I didn’t say couples are gross,” Monty says, and now his ears are burning.

“You said you were sighing at the gross-ness of couples,” Miller points out, again, neutral.

“Just like--in general! Couples are fine. I’m passing. Pass. Next. New conversation.”

Bellamy chuckles and Clarke shakes her head fondly, but thankfully everyone grants him this small mercy. Raven gets up to get another pitcher of beer and in the meantime, Monty scoots into her spot so he can be beside Miller. When they’re side by side, Miller reaches out under the table so their fingers can brush.  

When Raven returns to the table she not only has a pitcher of beer, she has… a fancy drink.

“Going hard for happy hour, Rave?” Clarke asks with a laugh. “Is that a Long Island?”

“Uhh,” Raven sets it on the table and slides it in Miller’s direction. “This is actually for you.”

Miller frowns. “What.”

Raven tips her head toward the bar and everyone’s heads whip to see. Perched by the counter is a handsome man with a warm and welcoming smile on his face. He tips his head in Miller’s direction before swiveling back around to drink his own drink by himself. Everyone’s head snaps back to Miller.

“Dude,” Bellamy says.

“No.”

“ _Miller_ ,” Clarke cheers. “Hell yeah! Go talk to him!”

Miller reaches for the Long Island iced tea and takes a drink, nodding in slight approval. “Okay.”

Monty’s jaw drops. “ _What_.”

Miller waves his hand, shooing Monty and Raven out of the booth so he can climb out, and he takes his drink with him. Miller walks with the stupid confidence that he’s always had, calm and composed, and saunters right up to the bar where the other guy is.

“He asked me if Miller was into dudes,” Raven says, sitting down and refilling her glass from the pitcher. “Then asked he thought I’d be upset if he bought him a drink. Seems nice enough,” she adds with a shrug.

Monty casts another glance toward Miller and The Guy and anxiety erupts in his stomach. Miller has that easy smile on his face that he has when he’s alone with Monty, and he’s leaning toward the guy who’s smiling back. Monty can’t hear them and honestly he’s not even really sure he wants to but he doesn’t know if it’s because of how far away they are or because his heart is pounding in his ears. He redirects his attention to Bellamy and Clarke who… look uneasy.

“Monty,” Clarke says slowly. “I was just teasing you earlier.”

“No, I know,” he rushes.

“I didn’t think Miller would actually _go talk to him_ ,” she says.

“It’s--why would that bother me? It’s cool, Miller can do whatever he wants.”

Bellamy is clearly trying not to wrinkle his nose.

 _It would be so easy to tell them_ , Monty thinks. He could tell his friends in this space. Clarke and Raven already know that Monty has a thing for Miller, and if Clarke knows then Bellamy probably does too, so it’s not like that’s a secret. And Bellamy knows that Miller has feelings for Monty, Miller’s said so himself, so everyone is just probably confused and feeling awkward now.

Soon enough, though, Miller returns. He left the Long Island by the bar (most of it gone) and scoots back into the booth by Raven.

“Nice guy,” Miller says.

Clarke arches an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”

“I thanked him for the drink but told him I wasn’t interested,” Miller says easily. He reaches across the table for the glass he left behind when he exited the booth and then for the pitcher so he can fill up again. The table is quiet. “What?” he asks. “You told me to talk to him,” he says, gesturing to Clarke.

“Well why aren’t you interested?” Raven asks. “He’s cute.”

“He is,” Miller agrees, and Monty’s stomach twists. “I’m just happy as I am,” he says.

* * *

Somehow, Monty ends up back at Miller and Bellamy’s apartment.

Murphy’s officially texted to say he’s staying at Emori’s, and Bellamy rushes around the second they get there to pack a bag. “Where’re you headed?” Monty asks as he stands in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.

“I’ve got to fucking dog sit while O’s out of town,” Bellamy says.

“Don’t sound so upset,” Miller murmurs from where he leans against the counter. “You get to use their HBO subscription.”

Bellamy points at Miller. “Good point.” He looks between the two of them. “What video game tonight?”

“Classic Smash,” Monty says with a grin. “Miller’s going down.”

“Dick,” Miller tosses back.

Bellamy smirks.

But soon enough, Bellamy is out the door, leaving Miller and Monty the apartment to themselves. Miller follows Bellamy out, locking the door behind him seeing as Monty won’t be leaving tonight after all, before Monty strides after him. He sets his glass of water down on his way out of the kitchen and stops Miller as he turns around, yanking him forward by his shirt.

Miller groans in surprise but meets Monty in the middle of the kiss. “Hey,” Miller greets.

Monty pushes him, maybe a little too forcefully, back into the door that he just deadbolted. Miller’s eyebrows shoot to his forehead as Monty pins him backwards, dark eyes scanning Monty’s body up and down. “What was that?” Monty asks.

Miller wets his lips and it’s way too hot for Monty to not get angry by it. “What was…?”

Monty presses him into the door, kissing him again. “That _guy_ ,” Monty says.

Miller laughs, his entire face bright. “Damn, Monty. You’re really hot right now.”

Monty kisses him another time. “Were you trying to make me jealous?”

Miller spreads his legs out just a bit so he’s shorter, sending Monty closer to his height and giving him space to step forward a bit. “No but I can’t deny that I’m insanely turned on by whatever this is.” With a groan, Monty tugs Miller down into a kiss. “He bought me a drink,” Miller murmurs. “I was being polite.”

“I can buy you drinks.”

“Mmm.”

Miller’s lips are needful after that, persistent against Monty’s, wet and warm and addicting. How they make it to Miller’s bedroom is a mystery upon itself.

* * *

Nate wakes up because Monty is shifting around too much. Nate briefly wonders what time it is, briefly wonders when Bellamy is coming home, when he decides he doesn’t care and readjusts his arm over Monty’s hips before tugging him backwards, closer.

“Oh, you’re up,” Monty says.

Nate exhales a laugh. “You were fidgeting,” he murmurs, letting his eyes fall shut again. Maybe he can convince Monty to fall back asleep for a bit. It’s still pretty early for a weekend. “More sleep.” Monty nuzzles backwards a bit but he’s still fidgeting around. “Monty,” Nate mumbles. “What are you _doing_?”

“Nothing, go sleep.”

Nate forces his eyes open and peers over Monty’s shoulder. “Are you playing Animal Crossing?”

“Shhh.”

Nate laughs again before shaking his head. “Put your phone away.”

“I just need to get another stupid flounder,” he responds. “Yes! Okay. Sorry.” He taps his screen a few more times before actually putting his phone away, and Nate buries himself closer. “Sleep okay?”

“I always sleep better with you here,” Nate tells him. Monty’s quiet after that, but the good kind of quiet. The quiet where Nate knows, even without looking, that Monty’s smiling. “Let’s get breakfast,” Nate murmurs, pressing kisses to Monty’s shoulder. “At that diner just outside of town.” Monty hums but Nate persists, mouthing his way closer to Monty’s neck. “Baby.”

“You wanna get breakfast?” Monty asks, and Nate makes a noise of affirmation. “Gosh.” He rolls in Nate’s arms so he can face him and shakes his head, just a little bit as Nate opens his eyes to look at him. “First you sleep better with me here and now you want to get breakfast. You’re such a…” Monty trails off, and Nate feels like his insides are light from a candle. “Sweetheart,” he finishes.

“Sweetheart,” Nate echoes fondly.

Monty presses himself up for another kiss. “I’m going to start calling you that,” Monty murmurs. 

“Sure, if you want me to fucking die because of how into you I am, why not.” Monty laughs but Nate stills, bumping his nose against Monty’s. “I’m really into you,” he says softly. Intentionally. He needs Monty to know this.

Monty beams. “Let’s get breakfast,” he whispers back. “I won’t even play Animal Crossing while we’re there.”

Nate laughs, brushing his fingers over Monty’s cheek. “When did you even download that?”

“This morning,” Monty says before kissing him again. “I need you to make an account so we can be friends and you can help me get into the quarry.”

Nate wants to bottle up the feeling inside of him so he can keep it forever. “Anything you want,” he says.

* * *

Monty wrinkles his nose as he watches Nate lift his mug to his lips. “How do you not add _any_ sugar or creamer at _all_?” he asks in disgust. They’re at the diner now, which is sort of crowded due to the fact that it’s a Saturday morning, but Nate isn’t worried. “It’s like, that’s awful. That’s horrible. I can’t have that.”

“Good thing it’s me drinking the coffee and not you,” Nate tells him.

“Am I expected to also become a black coffee drinker?” Monty asks. “Because I can’t do that. I won’t change for you!”

Nate laughs. “Babe.”

“What happens when we inevitably move in together and I have all of this tempting coffee creamer in the fridge. Are you going to try some?”

“Can we rewind to that inevitably moving in together part of the scenario instead of the coffee creamer?” Nate asks. Monty grabs Nate’s hand and tugs it toward him before kissing his knuckles.

Neither of them expand on the subject at the time, but Nate catalogs it away for later. They’ve known each other for years. Maybe things won’t work out and they won’t last but Nate doesn’t think that’ll be the case. When you know, you know, and God does he know.

The waitress brings them their food and they settle into a comfortable silence as they eat. It isn’t until Monty’s finished with his first pancake does he sit up a little straighter and look to Nate like he wants to say something. Nate waits for him to fill in the silence on his own.

“I’ve been thinking about last night,” Monty finally says.

Nate sighs. “If I upset you with that guy--”

“No, no,” Monty cuts him off. “It’s not that. It’s…” he trails off. Monty pushes his food around with his fork. “Harper,” he says.

Nate settles backwards in his seat. “What about her?”

“Does it upset you that we’re still close?”

“No,” Nate answers right away. It doesn’t. Monty’s always been someone who’s true to his heart, who goes after what he wants, who is _honest_. If he still wanted to be with Harper, he’d still be with Harper. “It’s nice that you’re still friends,” Nate says.

Part of him wishes that he was still friends with his exes too. Maybe not all of them, but a few. Bryan was his first love, and there’ll always be a part of him that stays with Nate as he gets older. Eric was a good man, just not a perfect fit. But Nate just kind of shuts down when it comes to old relationships, and he protects his heart in the only way he knows how -- by shutting them out.

“Okay,” Monty says. He still looks hesitant. “We haven’t--I mean, since we broke up, nothing’s happened between us.”

Nate reaches across the table to grab his hand again. “It wouldn’t even matter if something had,” Nate says slowly. “When we started this, you said no one else,” he reminds Monty, thinking back to Wells’ birthday party. “I believe that. I trust you.”

Monty sighs before a smile finds its way to his face. “Okay. I just wanted you to know.”

Nate squeezes his fingertips. “I know,” he tells him.

“Okay. Okay, cool.” Nate releases his hand so he can pick up his own fork again. “We just haven’t really talked about exes,” Monty says, looking back down to his plate, but noticeably less tense than moments before. “And Harper’s still… around, and such. So I just--yeah. Starting the conversation.”

“We can talk about exes,” Nate says.

Monty looks up to him, his mouth opened to say something, when his eyes snag on something behind him and his smile tenses a little. “Hey!” Monty calls. He shifts himself in his seat immediately, making himself look at more of a distance, while Nate glances over his shoulder to find Wells and Raven striding toward them with smiles on their faces. “Well fancy seeing you two here,” Monty says as the two of them slide into their booth.

“We’re visiting my dad today,” Wells says, taking the spot by Monty. “It’s a bit of a drive. Needed to stop for food because there’s no way he’s going to feed us.”

“Wow. Thelonious already?” Nate asks, an eyebrow arched.

Raven elbows him. “I’m trying not to panic,” she says. “Don’t make me panic.”

“Hey, I’ve known Thelonious Jaha since I was 7 years old,” Nate says with a grin. “He’ll love you.”

“That’s what I said,” Wells murmurs with a smile. “Is it okay if we join you? This place is packed.”

“Not a problem,” Monty says. “Seeing as you already sat down.”

“We needed some hangover recovery,” Nate adds.

“Ah, right,” Raven remembers. She hooks her ankle around Wells’ under the table before leaning in. “Some random bought Miller a drink last night.”

Wells looks to Nate with his eyebrows high on his forehead. “It was flattering,” Nate says quickly, reaching for his mug of coffee, “but I wasn’t interested.”

“No?” Wells asks. “It’s been awhile since you’ve dated,” he points out. Nate meets Monty’s eyes for a brief moment before Monty shoves a piece of pancake into his mouth, trying not to smile.

“I really think I’m doing okay,” Nate says.

“I mean I’ve got some friends from work,” Wells starts before Monty shakes his head.

“Nate said he was fine,” Monty says, maybe a touch too forcefully after he swallows his bite. “Let’s move on.”

Raven and Wells exchange a glance while Raven presses her lips tightly together to keep from saying anything. “Alrighty,” Wells says, and the conversation shifts without anyone mentioning it.

* * *

Seeing as Monty stayed at Miller’s last night, and they only wanted to take one car, they took Monty’s. “You think Bellamy’s home yet?” Monty asks as they pull into the lot, and Miller gestures forward.

“That’s his car,” he says.

“Dammit.”

Miller turns to him with a smile that Monty’s gotten way too addicted to in the past couple of months. “Wanted to come up?” Miller wonders, and Monty nods. Miller reaches over, his finger under Monty’s chin, before he pulls him forward for a soft kiss. “You can,” Miller murmurs.

“Nah, I should get home.” Miller nods, reaching for the door handle, when Monty stops him. “Sorry I called you Nate,” he bursts. “Back at the diner.”

Miller turns back to him, that smile still there. “I don’t mind,” he says. “I like it when you call me Nate.”

“Yeah, but…”

Miller leans in another time, silencing Monty with his mouth. “Don’t worry about it too much,” he says gently. “Okay? Text me when you get home.”

Monty nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

Miller climbs out of the car and Monty waits until his boyfriend gets inside the building to drive away.

This morning was good. Last night was good. All the time spent with Miller doing cute boyfriend stuff is _good_ and Monty wants more of it. He finds himself caught in this void between guilt and need and isn’t entirely sure where to place the blame.

Back at home, Jasper is on the couch. “Did you bring food?” he calls over his shoulder as Monty keys in.

“No, Miller and I grabbed something. Sorry, man.” He kicks off his shoes before walking over to Jasper, joining him on the couch. “How were your… plans?”

Jasper arches an eyebrow at him. “They were fine, Dad.” Monty rolls his eyes while Jasper stretches over, nudging him with his foot. “How was Miller time?”

“It wasn’t just Miller time,” Monty murmurs, feeling his face warm. Jasper _knows_ how Monty feels about Miller, he always has. “Last night was most of the group. And Raven and Wells showed up at the diner this morning.” Jasper hums without looking over, tapping away at his phone. “What’d you do last night?”

“Just hung out with some people from work.” Monty scoffs. “I’m allowed to have friends other that you,” Jasper says, finally looking up. Monty scoffs again, but part of him is happy. He wants Jasper to get out there more, and after he recently started this new job Monty was worried he would use it as an excuse to cocoon himself in his room claiming exhaustion rather than be social. “You’ll always be my favorite though,” Jasper says.

“You are too sweet.”

* * *

“You could download Tinder?” Clarke suggests. She’s spread out across Bellamy’s lap at the moment while Nate has sequestered himself into a nearby arm chair. “I hear OKCupid is better at like, real life dating, but if you’re looking for hookups, then--”

“I’m not looking for anything,” Nate says, for maybe the dozenth time since the guy bought Nate a drink at the bar last week. “What is with this sudden push you all have?” Clarke looks up at Bellamy, who keeps his eyes on whatever it is they’re playing on Hulu, before he looks back to Nate. “Hey,” Nate mutters, snapping his fingers. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not telling him,” Bellamy murmurs, winding his fingers through her hair.

Clarke sighs in frustration. “Bell.”

“Nope.”

“Dude,” Nate says.

Clarke looks back to Nate. “Octavia was with Harper the other night,” Clarke finally says, and Nate lowers his phone so he can give his full attention to his friend. “Supposedly she kept talking about how much she misses being in a relationship.”

“I’m trying to find how this correlates to my life,” Nate says.

Clarke sits up. “She kept talking about _Monty_ ,” Clarke says, Bellamy readjusting on the couch behind her. “How good they were together. Stuff like that.” Nate waits for where he knows Clarke is leading this. “She’s going to make a move on him. I can feel it.”

“Two things,” Nate says. “The first. Didn’t Monty just say last week that he didn’t miss Harper like that?”

“Monty’s good at heart,” Bellamy says, eyes still on the TV. “He believes in second chances. He’d go for it if Harper gave enough reasons.”

“And _two_ ,” Nate stops him from continuing, “so what?”

“Enough of that bullshit, man,” Bellamy says tiredly. “Anyone with eyes knows how you feel about Monty.”

“And if he so readily wants to get back with Harper,” Nate returns, even, “then I guess I never had a chance anyway, huh?” Bellamy reaches up to rub at his face while Clarke settles back down on his lap. “I don’t need dating apps, and I don’t care if Harper is interested in _making moves_ on Monty.”

“Okay,” Clarke says, rolling her eyes a touch. “You’ll definitely care if she makes a move.”

 **Nate  
** They’re trying to get me on Tinder again

 **Monty  
** noooooooo

 **Nate  
** Maybe I’ll do it just to appease them

 **Monty  
** MAYBE YOU WON’T

Nate looks up at them, fighting his smile. “Guys. Seriously. I’m sure I’ll be okay.”

* * *

“Who’s _Sweetheart_?” Jasper asks.

Monty drops his phone into his lap. “What?”

“You’ve been texting a _Sweetheart_ all night,” Jasper says before taking a swig from his beer. It’s Thursday and they’re watching the latest episode of The Good Place together, and Monty changed Miller’s name in his phone after their diner date last week. “Hmmm?”

“It’s Bellamy,” Monty lies. “It’s a joke. From the Happy Hour you were too cool to attend,” he carries on, getting Jasper to scoff. “I just haven’t changed it back yet,” he says. “I’m trying to get him to send me stuff on Animal Crossing.”

“Dude, I can send you stuff.”

“You already accepted my quarry plea for help! Bellamy’s the only one who hasn’t!”

 **Sweetheart  
** They’re also convinced Harper is going to make a move on you again

 **Monty  
** ummmmmm. no

 **Sweetheart  
** Just passing the message along babe.

“Hey,” Monty says, tapping out a response. “Uhhh, you don’t think Harper’s still into me, right?”

The laugh that crawls out of Jasper is so… _Jasper_ like that Monty startles, looking up at his friend. He shakes his head in disbelief, his eyes alight with life. “No, Monty,” Jasper says. “I don’t think Harper’s still into you. Why? Are you still into her?”

“No! You know that I--”

“Am mega into Miller,” Jasper cuts him off. “Yeah, yeah.”

Jasper wrinkles his nose as though only just realizing they’re talking about relationships. “Have you talked to her?” Monty asks softly. Jasper’s nose wrinkles further. “Maya,” Monty elaborates, realizing they were just talking Harper.

“A couple times,” Jasper admits quietly. His nose unwrinkles and he looks back to the screen. “She’s worried about me. But I, uh. It’s easier to not respond,” Jasper tells him.

“I can talk to her,” Monty says. “Tell her you need space.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jasper says shaking his head. Even from this distance, his eyes look wet. “It’s been a couple of months,” Jasper says. “I feel pretty okay.”

“Yeah?” Monty asks.

Jasper blinks a few times, his eyes _definitely_ wet now. “I’m always gonna love her,” he rasps, shaking his head as though trying to erase Maya from his memory. “So fucking much, man.”

“Yeah,” Monty sighs.

“But,” Jasper pauses, coughing to clear his throat. “I just--I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Monty hurries. “Sorry, man.” Jasper nods his head. _It’s fine_ , it says. Monty leans forward, stretching out so he can reach Jasper. He squeezes his thigh just a touch. “Love you,” Monty says.

“Love you too,” Jasper murmurs, reaching up to wipe his eyes.

* * *

Nate can’t stop the smile that makes it’s way to his face as Monty narrows his eyes at the painting before him, tipping his head to the side. They’re at a local art museum, Monty’s idea, for one of their evening dates, and Nate is having fun. Most of his fun comes in the fact that Monty just is _really_ not a “let’s walk around an art museum and look at paintings” kind of guy, but he really is trying.

“It looks like a cat walked across a canvas,” Monty murmurs under his breath.

Nate puffs out a laugh, redirecting his gaze to the painting. It kind of does. “What do you think the deeper meaning is?” Nate asks, tugging Monty close so his mouth is by Monty’s ear.

Monty winds his arm around Nate’s middle and hums, holding himself close. “For this?” he questions. Nate presses a kiss to Monty’s temple. “Nothing. There’s no deeper meaning. Cats are more creative than us.”

Nate laughs again, against Monty’s hairline. “They are,” he agrees. “Do you prefer cats? Or dogs?”

“I’m bisexual because I’m bad at choosing,” Monty answers, and again Nate laughs. “Don’t make me pick, I love them both.”

“Mm.”

“Why?”

“When we inevitably move in together,” Nate murmurs, “we should get a pet.”

Monty looks up at him, eyes bright. “Yeah?” Nate captures his lips in response, and Monty smiles into the kiss. “Wow I like you,” Monty breathes between them. “So much.” Nate kisses him another time, slow to pull away. When they part, Monty glances over his shoulder before leaning back into Nate’s form. “What’s next on our tour?” he asks, pushing Nate forward, down the hall. “Ah, yes, Aquaman’s Wet Dream,” he says, stopping by the next canvas.

Nate snorts. “Was that a pun?”

“Maybe…”

“You’re too much,” he says, propping his chin up happily on Monty’s shoulder.

* * *

Another week passes before Jasper has Monty storming out of their apartment with no intent to return.

Monty doesn’t normally just go places without texting first, but his blood is _boiling_. It’s a Friday night and he and Jasper were supposed to hang out, seeing as Monty just bought a new video game they’ve been wanting to try for awhile, and Jasper _snapped_ at him.

“You don’t have to treat me like a fucking baby,” he snarled when Monty responded with surprise at Jasper saying he was _going on a date_. “I’m capable of functioning like a real human. If I want to go on a date,” he said, “then I can very well go on a date.”

“I just--are you ready?” Monty had asked.

“Am I ready?” Jasper threw back. “I think I would know if I was ready or not!”

“I just didn’t realize--”

“You’re a real ass sometimes,” Jasper spat. “You know that?”

Monty fled after that.

He always thought that he and Jasper were okay. Obviously he’s been going through a lot, but Monty didn’t think he was worthy of being snapped at. Monty’s always been patient with him, careful and caring. A supportive friend, if anything. Maybe he’s a little too gentle at times, but he doesn’t deserve _anger_ because of it.

Monty ends up at Miller’s, fighting tears. He doesn’t even care if anyone else is home, he just wants to see his boyfriend. He knocks fiercely before the door is pulled open, Nate on the other side. Monty presses himself forward and winds himself around Nate, forehead pressed to his chest.

Fuck it. Enough of the Miller bullshit, it clearly isn’t helping him keep his cover anyway. Nate is Nate and Nate is his.

“Hey, baby,” Nate says gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry I didn’t call.”

“It’s fine,” Nate murmurs. He reaches up, cupping the back of Monty’s head. “Come inside,” he says, pulling Monty toward him and kicking the door shut behind them. “It’s just me,” Nate tells him, pushing his fingers carefully through Monty’s hair. “Bellamy and O went to the movies so we have some time.”

“I don’t even care,” Monty mumbles. He listens to Nate sigh before bending down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Eventually they make it to Nate’s room, curled together in his bed. He pries the story out of Monty bit by bit, finally ending at the confusion at how sharp Jasper had been with him and his short dismissal of Monty like it was nothing.

“I know that he’s hurting,” Monty murmurs. “But he--I mean, I try so hard only for him to snap at me, and…”

“Hey, hey.”

“Of course I’m happy for him to be going out on a date,” Monty carries on. “I am! But just the other week he was tearing up over Maya again and I just--it felt like maybe he was doing this for a rebound and I didn’t want him to get hurt again.”

“I get it,” Nate says. “He shouldn’t have been so short with you. You were just looking out for him.”

Monty sighs. “Yeah. But I shouldn’t have reacted with overwhelming shock either.” Monty shakes his head. They’re both quiet for a moment. “It’s okay that I’m here, right? You didn’t have plans?”

“Wells and I were gonna get a drink,” Nate says. “But I texted him. It’s cool.”

Monty groans. “Sorry. I should’ve called.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Nate says again. “I can see Wells tomorrow.”

“I should apologize to Jasper.” Nate doesn’t respond. When Monty looks up, Nate’s eyebrows are furrowed in thought. “Nate?”

“Bellamy… said something the other week,” Nate says slowly. Monty’s quiet, waiting for him to continue. But then Nate says, “Nevermind.”

Monty turns to look at him. “What was it?”

“It’s selfish, forget it.”

“It’s selfish?” Monty asks. “Bellamy being selfish? Or you?”

“Me,” Nate mutters. “Forget it, okay?” Monty’s eyebrows furrow and he reaches up, his fingers spanning across Nate’s cheek. “He said that if something were to happen between us,” Nate finally murmurs, “then Jasper should be happy. That even though he’s hurting he _would_ be happy for you.” Monty stays quiet, eyebrows still furrowed. “Part of me thinks he’s right, Monty.”

Monty lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I don’t know, Nate. I think that he’d be angry.”

“Maybe at first,” Nate agrees. “But Monty, he loves you. He’d want you to be happy. Don't you think?”

“It’s not…” Monty pulls away, laying flat on Miller’s bed so he can look at the ceiling. He sighs. “It’s not about that,” Monty says. “I… yeah, I do think he’d be happy for me. I mean, he knows I’m crazy about you. But… it doesn’t feel right to _me_ ,” Monty explains. “It feels like I’d be rubbing it in his face, even if I wasn’t.”

“And how’s he going to feel when he finds out you’ve been keeping it a secret?”

Monty turns back to him. “Do you want to stop this? Is that it?”

“Monty, _no_ ,” Nate insists. Monty feels guilty for even asking. Of course that’s not what Nate means. “I told you that I’d wait as long as you wanted me to and I meant that.” Nate inches his way closer, voice verging on desperate as he says, “I like you so much, Monty.”

Monty reaches up again, hand cupping Nate’s cheek. “I know,” he murmurs. He presses forward for a soft kiss. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Nate kisses him again before shaking his head just a touch. “Do you want to stay tonight?” he asks, and Monty nods. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I want to,” Monty says. He knows this whole secrecy thing is hard for Nate. And besides, he doesn’t want to go back to his apartment. Not with Jasper being a dick. “You don’t mind?”

“Course not. I don’t think the others will be home so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I wasn’t--I mean, I’m _not_.” Nate’s eyes still look dark with worry. “I don’t like keeping you a secret, Nate,” Monty whispers.

“So let’s tell Jasper,” Nate whispers back, ferocity in his voice. “Put your trust in him,” Nate says. “He’s your best friend--your family. If he says that he’s ready to be back out there and dating, if he says that he’s moved on, we should respect him enough to not keep this from him anymore. Then we all win.”

Monty closes his eyes. He knows, deep down, that Nate’s right. But part of him is just…

“I’m afraid,” Monty finally says. Nate’s quiet, allowing Monty to process his thoughts. “I’m afraid that once we tell everything,” Monty says, “then this will fall apart.”

“Me and you?” Nate asks, and Monty nods, his nose bumping against Nate’s. Nate slides his arm around Monty’s waist. “Hey. Monty. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Monty keeps his eyes shut. “I know how I feel about you. People knowing--Jasper… no matter how he reacts or how everyone else reacts, that’s not going to change, Monty.”

Monty lets out a long, deep breath. “You’re too good to me.”

“Shut up,” Nate murmurs.

“I’m serious.” Monty’s eyes flutter open. “Nate,” he says gently. “You give me more than I give you, it’s not fair.”

“We both agreed to keep this to ourselves,” Nate says. “I wanted to be with you. I didn’t care how it happened.”

“I shouldn’t have even asked.”

“You didn’t ask,” Nate says a little sharply. “I _offered_.” Monty sighs again. “I think it’s time,” Nate says, finding that softness again. “Please, baby.”

“Sweetheart,” Monty whispers back. The corner of Nate’s mouth pulls up. “Okay,” he says. Warmth shines in Nate’s eyes. It doesn’t make him any less afraid that this will fall apart, that Jasper won’t be angry with him, but Nate’s right. It’s time.

* * *

In the morning, Nate wakes before Monty. Hearing Monty say last night that he was _afraid_ , Nate felt it in his stomach. Even after saying _nothing will change_ , Nate can’t help but feel afraid as well. He knows there’ll be judgement from their friends, at least for a little bit, and putting something out into the open after it’s been private for so long is always a little worrisome.

But Nate knows, deep down, it’ll be okay. It really will. He nuzzles closer to Monty and breathes him in, ready for this new day, ready for this second start.

Monty wakes soon enough, and the two of them share a few early morning kisses before Monty pulls away with a sigh. “I should go home,” he says.

Nate nods. “How do we want to do this?” he asks. Monty’s face shutters. “Monty?”

“I need a week,” he says. Nate’s eyebrows pull together in confusion. “Jasper’s angry with me now, and I need to figure out the best way to do this.” Nate shakes his head just a touch. “You make my brain all… stupid,” Monty says. “So I need a week.”

Nate realizes what Monty’s saying. “You’re putting this on pause.”

“Just for a week.”

“Monty--”

“I swear it’s not--Nate, I just need to do this right,” he presses. “Please. This isn’t--I don’t want space, or a real break just--just pause, like you said. So I can do this right.” No dates, no late night texting, no seeing each other. It’s not like they see each other every day as it is, but that’s already hard. Nate swallows. “Nate--”

“No, I get it. It’s fine. Yeah.”

“ _Nate_ ,” Monty says softly. “It’s not--”

“No, hey. Yeah. I understand. I can do a week.” He manages a soft smile. “I can do a week,” he says again.

Monty presses forward for another kiss. “It’s not going to be easy for me either,” he says, teasing his fingers over Nate’s beard. “But then I can kiss your face whenever I want and we’ll be good.”

“Mm. Okay. Yeah.”

“You’re saying yeah a lot,” Monty points out. Nate doesn’t object. Because he is. “Are you mad?”

“No,” he lies. He’s mad that they have to do this at all. He’s aching in a way he wasn’t prepared for on top of that. Even keeping it secret, at least he’s gotten some interaction with Monty no matter how small every day since. “It’s fine. You should go home, like you said.”

“Nate…”

“Even if I say I’m not okay with this it doesn’t matter,” Nate shoots back, and his frustration creeps into his voice. Monty winces a bit. “Baby, it’s fine. I know how you are. How your brain works. It’s okay.”

“It feels like it’s not okay.”

“We can talk this in circles or you can go and tell Jasper and then we can be together again,” Nate murmurs. “Your choice.”

Monty looks as frustrated as Nate feels, but whatever. That’s how Monty thinks sometimes. He nearly passed out his senior year of college while working on his graduation project because his mind had been so one-track that he’d forgotten to eat for three days. Once when a new video game came out Monty didn’t answer his friends calls for so long that Bellamy had to get the spare key from the landlord to make sure he was still alive. It’s how Monty functions. And Nate’s not okay with it, but if the end result is them being together then he’ll put up with it for now.

Monty leans in and kisses Nate gently, and just like that Nate feels all of his anger melt out of him.

“I’ll see you soon,” Monty promises before climbing out of Nate’s bed, leaving him alone and cold.

* * *

No matter how weird Monty feels about putting things with Nate on pause until he sorts things out with Jasper, he knows it’s what he has to do.

But when he arrives home and Jasper isn’t there, he can’t help himself from shooting Nate a text anyway.

 **Monty  
** jasper’s not even here??!

 **Sweetheart  
** Maybe call him?

Monty needs to gauge what kind of mood Jasper is in before dropping this on him. He decided on his drive over he wanted to Jasper the truth, that they’ve been together for months, and he’ll take whatever reaction he’s given in response. Maybe it’ll be anger, or maybe joy, but whatever it is Monty will embrace it.

Nate deserves someone who’s going to love him out loud.

With a sigh, Monty dials Jasper number and kicks off his shoes by the door. He answers on the second ring. “Yeah?”

“Yeah?” Monty echoes. “Dude, where the hell are you? Are you okay?”

“What?” Jasper coughs, clearing his throat. “I crashed somewhere else,” Jasper rasps, annoyed from having being woken up. “I’m fine, Monty.”

“You… crashed somewhere else,” Monty echoes. “You had the whole apartment to yourself and you crashed somewhere else?”

“I didn’t know if you’d be back,” Jasper says with a yawn. “I knew you were mad at me and I thought you wanted space, that’s all. I didn’t think you’d be personally offended that I left the apartment.” Monty huffs, not even sure where to start. “I’m _sorry_ , Monty,” Jasper says softly. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. But you stormed out before I could even apologize and I figured it best to let you cool off. I was a dick.”

Monty lifts his hand to tug at his hair. “Yeah, okay.”

“Apology accepted?”

“Like, barely,” Monty mutters. “You said you had a date are you--did you hook up with someone?”

“Yeah, right, Monty. You know me. Hook up master.” Monty tries hard not to roll his eyes at the sound of Jasper’s little laugh. “I’ll bring home pizza for lunch,” Jasper says, another yawn. “Okay?”

“Sure.”

“Love you?”

“Love you too,” Monty mutters, ending the call right after. But collectively, they only have like, six friends. And if he Monty was at Nate’s apartment last night, and Jasper wasn’t there, then where the hell was he?

* * *

A week has passed and Nate hasn’t heard from Monty at all, save the Snapchats he sends out every morning to mass hordes of people to keep his streaks alive. Nate misses him. It’s dumb. They haven’t even been together for that long and Nate fucking misses Monty more than he knows what to do with that he can't even manage a fucking week.

It’s even worse because Monty’s _here_ now. He’s smushed on the couch between Jasper and Harper, laughing wildly, his cheeks flushed from alcohol, and Nate can’t fucking do anything about it. Even the subtle wink that Monty gave him when Nate entered isn’t enough to make him feel any better.

The easiest place to be is in the kitchen, both because it’s out of view of Monty but also because that’s where the alcohol is. He’s mixing his second drink of the night, having downed the first one faster than he should’ve, when Bellamy enters slowly.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Nate returns.

Bellamy glances over his shoulder before reaching for the glass bottle that Nate just set back down. “What are you trying to forget?” Bellamy asks, and Nate frowns at him. “The rum,” Bellamy says, holding up the bottle. “You only drink rum when you’re trying to forget something.”

Nate’s frown deepens and he snatches the bottle out of Bellamy’s hand before he pours in another splash for good measure. It pisses him off that his friends know his drink selections so well, and pisses him off further that he _has_ drinks for his different moods.

“Nothing.”

Nate finishes stirring his drink before he moves to leave the kitchen, letting the silence hang between them

“Wait,” Bellamy slides to step in front of him, preventing Nate from exiting the kitchen. “Talk to me, man. Something’s up. You’ve been in a mood for a couple of days now. Everyone can see it.”

“It’s nothing,” Nate says again, knowing he’s never going to convince Bellamy of this. “What do you mean everyone?”

“The only person who hasn’t mentioned is Murphy, and that’s because Murphy’s fucking off the grid.”

Nate finds himself looking at the ground. It’s been a week. Monty said a week. Right? He lifts his cup to his mouth and takes a long drink before glancing over Bellamy’s shoulder to make sure no one’s coming in. This is his best fucking friend.

“You’re going to hate me,” Nate says.

“Impossible. I would jump in front of knives for you.”

“Asshole.”

“I’m serious!” Bellamy laughs. “What’s going on, Miller?”

Nate takes another long drink. “Monty and I’ve been dating for the past couple of months,” Nate says. He watches Bellamy’s face morph from concern into confusion into excitement into confusion again. “Since Wells’ birthday, actually.”

“Wells--!” Bellamy laughs again, rushing forward. “Dude!”

Nate lets himself smile for a moment. “Yeah, I know.”

“That’s like--" he pauses to think. "Four fucking months. Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Nate says again. He takes another drink. “Jasper had just gotten out of that mess with Maya and he was a wreck and we didn’t--we decided it would be okay to keep it to ourselves for a bit, and then it just kept going on and on and…” he trails off, his smile slipping away. Bellamy’s disappears too. “We’re on pause,” he finally says. “Until Monty tells him.”

“Your decision, or his?” Nate narrows his eyes and Bellamy holds up his hands in defeat. “You’re right. You hate it. So much.”

“So much,” Nate echoes.

“But--dude.”

Nate’s smile returns. “Yeah.”

“Four fucking months!”

“ _Yeah_.”

“Damn. And you weren’t caught once?”

“It’s been close a couple of times,” Nate admits. Little slip-ups here and there haven’t helped. But they manage. “It’s just--this stupid fucking pause is fucking…” Nate groans, turning away from Bellamy. “I waited forever for this and now I just feel like I don’t have him anymore. Not that he’s mine to have. Or whatever. You know what I’m saying.”

“Come on, Miller,” Bellamy says, propping his hip against the doorframe. “We’ve all known that Monty’s crazy about you. He’s probably dying too.”

“He’s not.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Look at him out there,” Nate says, waving his hand. “God--I’m just being… selfish,” he says. “I just want to fucking take him home with me.”

“Hey, I won’t tell if you do,” Bellamy teases.

Nate stands up a little straighter. “Bellamy,” Nate says, and the kitchen is serious again. “You _can’t_ tell. Not until Monty sorts it out with Jasper. Or it’ll feel like everyone knew something he didn’t, and then it might make it worse, and--”

“Hey,” Bellamy cuts him off. “I won’t tell,” he says again. Bellamy’s smile returns and Nate knows this one is going to stay. Soft and warm around the edges. “Four months.”

Nate nods slowly before taking another drink. “I think I’m in love with him,” he admits. Saying it out loud makes Nate feel a little dizzy. He’s felt this way for so long that putting it into words has everything feeling lighter.

“Yeah,” Bellamy says softly. “That checks out.”

* * *

Monty’s feeling fuzzy and happy after their night at Clarke and Raven’s. To be fair, he’s still at their apartment, Jasper sprawled out on the pull-out couch beside him, and they’ll be there until their hangovers are gone in the morning. Watching Nate walk out of the apartment with very little interaction the entire night has Monty feeling needful, and he thinks now might be the right time.

Monty turns to find Jasper smiling lazily at his phone, which he’s holding up over his face at what must be the most uncomfortable angle ever.

“Hey,” Monty whispers.

Raven dimmed the lights for them when she tugged Wells into her bedroom so the only light they really have is from Jasper’s phone screen. “Hey,” Jasper whispers back.

“I have to tell you a thing.”

“I love when you tell me things,” Jasper says, lowering his phone.

“How drunk are you?”

“Not drunk enough to forget whatever thing you tell me,” he promises. “What is it?” Monty opens his mouth to start his sentence but Jasper’s phone hums, and he catches sight of the name before Jasper flips his phone so the phone is face down.

Monty narrows his eyes a touch. “Why’re you texting Harper?” he asks.

Jasper looks to his phone. “Uhh.” He shrugs. “Because we are friends.” Jasper’s phone buzzes another time. He looks at it as though it’s burning.

“Why’s her name have a heart next to it all of a sudden?”

“Ummmm.” It buzzes again. Jasper picks up his phone and throws it across the room where it collides with the wall and makes a loud cracking noise as it hits the ground. They’re both quiet after that. “Fuck,” Jasper says. He lifts his hands to his face as though he’s trying to hide himself. “Harper and I are dating!” he bursts.

Monty’s jaw drops. “ _What_.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!” Jasper carries on, his voice getting louder and also more desperate. “It’s pretty new because I’m kind of fucked from Maya and she--I mean, Harper knows that, she was there so she saw the whole thing! But it just kind of happened and we didn’t--I mean, everyone’s still treating me like I’m this delicate little flower, and--”

“You _are_!”

“Am not! And you and her dated and you’ve been asking about her a lot lately which was weird so I didn’t know what was going on there! And I just didn’t want to upset you!”

Monty looks across the room and then back to Jasper. “You just chucked your phone across the room because you didn’t want to tell me that you were dating Harper?!”

“We both know I’m not prone to smart decisions!”

Now. Now is the time.

“I’m dating Miller!”

Jasper’s jaw drops. “I _knew_ it!” Monty slaps his hand to his forehead and Jasper flings himself out of the pullout so he can stand and point down at him, jumping up and down on his feet. “I fucking knew it! You bastard!”

“How?!”

“Sweetheart as Bellamy, my fucking ass!” Monty groans. “You two were eye fucking each other the whole night!”

“No! Ugh!” Jasper’s laughing hysterically now to the point where he isn’t sure if he wants to fall forward or backwards. “What is happening right now?”

“I broke my phone for you!”

A laugh finally crawls out of Monty too and then that’s all they’re doing, fucking laughing at each other like stupid, confused idiots who are entirely too happy to even be beside one another at this point. They keep at that until the sound of a door creaks open, and then Clarke pads out into the living room with her arms wrapped around herself.

“What the hell is going on out here?” she asks.

“Jasper’s dating Harper!”

“Monty’s dating Miller!”

Clarke blinks at the two of them before she shakes her head and turns on her heel, heading back into her room without questioning either of them further.

They break into giggles once more.

When they finally settle down, Monty retrieving Jasper’s phone for him (which miraculously only has a cracked case and not a cracked screen), they lay side by side in silence.

“I didn’t want to tell you at first,” Monty says. “I thought you’d be angry with me. Because you were such a mess from Maya when it started.”

Jasper lets out a soft breath. “I… yeah,” he says. “Yeah. I probably would’ve been.” Monty turns to look at him, but Jasper’s still looking at the ceiling. “Losing Maya,” Jasper says. “It fucked me up, Monty. Even the happy stuff didn’t feel happy. So… I don’t know. I get it.”

“I’m sorry,” Monty murmurs.

Jasper reaches out, placing his hand directly over Monty’s face. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, patting Monty like he’s a horse. “I will love you for always.”

Monty jerks his face out of Jasper’s grasp. “Love you too,” he says back. “I can’t believe you’re dating Harper.”

“Better believe it.”

“I feel like I should’ve seen this coming,” Monty says, shaking his head in disbelief. Harper and Jasper, despite a rough start, had super similar mindsets. They’re both flirts and always flirting with each other. It’s natural. They’re both loyal and supportive and… crap, they’re totally going to end up getting married. Monty turns to look at him. “Are you happy?” Monty asks.

Jasper nods. “So happy.” Jasper turns to look back at Monty. “We’re going slow,” he says. “She knows I’m still kind of recovering. But she’s also--I mean, you dated her. You know.”

Monty laughs. “God. What the hell.”

“How’s Miller?”

“ _So good_ , Jasper. Nate’s freaking everything and more. I don’t even have words for it.”

Jasper grins.

* * *

Monty wakes up very warm. Jasper’s wound around him in a way that makes Monty miss Nate and so, he shoves Jasper off of him very unceremoniously. Jasper groans. “What the heck,” he mutters, reaching to pull Monty closer, but enough is enough. “Where’re you going?”

“I’ll come get you later,” Monty says, already perched on the edge of the mattress. “I need to see Nate, I feel like I’m dying.”

“You’re dramatic,” Jasper mutters, but he’s smiling.

Monty fills up a glass of water for his friend before he hurries to his car, racing his way to Nate and Bellamy’s apartment as fast as the appropriate speed limit allows him. It feels like hours before he’s finally pounding up the steps to their apartment and knocking on Nate’s door. Last night, before the whole Jasper stuff, was the _worst_. Nate was so close and so far all at once and--

“Is there a reason you’re banging on my door before nine in the morning?” Nate asks as he pulls the door open. Monty flings himself at his boyfriend and Nate grins, tugging him inside before Monty can even manage an answer. The second the door’s shut Monty’s cupping Nate’s cheeks, pulling him as close as he can so he can just kiss his stupid face already. “Mmf.”

“I told Jasper,” Monty murmurs against his mouth.

“Yeah, I figured.” Nate kisses him firmly. “I told Bellamy.”

“You did?”

“Last night. Sorry.”

“No! It’s okay!” Monty’s only just now realizing that his boyfriend’s shirtless. “That’s when I told Jasper. Where are your clothes?”

“You want me to put more clothes on?” Nate asks.

“No, sorry. I’m frazzled. I missed you.”

Nate leans in for another kiss, slower than the one before, less frantic. Nate’s always so freaking steadying. “I missed you more,” Nate whispers back. Monty’s sure his fingers are cold against Nate’s bare skin, but Nate’s the best and doesn’t complain. “It’s early,” he says softly. “Want to get back in bed?”

Monty nods into another kiss.

* * *

The next night at the bar, everyone manages to make it. Even Murphy shows up from the pits of wherever he’s been hiding, his arm draped happily over Emori’s shoulder as she nuzzles up next to him in the booth.

Monty leans into Nate’s side and Nate takes a moment to just think about how stupid lucky he is. Not only does he have all of these people, his best friends, who have been minimal on the teasing ever since everything came to fruition, but he has Monty by his side, lovely and warm and more than Nate deserves.

“I just think it’s so cute that Monty calls you _sweetheart_ ,” Clarke says while Bellamy wrinkles his nose up at her. Under the table, Monty laces their fingers together. It takes more time than usual because Monty's sleeves are so long, seeing as he's wearing Nate's sweatshirt instead of his own, but worth it in the end. “Like, come on. Seriously? That’s so cute.”

“Leave us alone,” Nate murmurs, but not only is he stupid lucky, he’s also stupid happy. Tonight he’ll get to follow Monty upstairs to his apartment and collapse in bed together, no need to rush away in the morning. “Unless we want to talk about those like, four months where you and Bellamy called each other Pumpkin?”

“Hey,” Bellamy stops him quickly. “That was a fall-themed thing only.”

“That’s embarrassing,” Monty says, tracing his thumb over Nate’s knuckles. “You’re embarrassing. I call Nate sweetheart because he’s a literal sweetheart.”

“Stop it,” Nate laughs.

“Well I call Harper Harper because that’s her name and we respect each other as individuals,” Jasper chimes, grinning like his old self again.

“Right you are, babe,” Harper agrees, grinning as well.

“Ugh, Harp,” Jasper turns to her. “I can’t call you babe. I call Monty babe, it’ll get confusing.” Harper rolls her eyes fondly before pressing a kiss to Jasper’s cheek. “Babe! You’re embarrassing me!”

“Everyone at this table is the actual worst,” Murphy contributes to the conversation amidst everyone’s laughter, but, fuck it, because Murphy’s smiling too.

"I'd like to reiterate," Raven says loudly, while Wells turns an adorable shade of red, "that Wells and I are the least problematic couple at this table." Clarke flicks the tab of a beer can at her, which Raven dodges with a grin. "Thank you for your time." 

People dissolve into their own conversations but Nate lounges backwards, letting this feeling wash over him and take root so it can blossom into something brilliant. He catches a wink from Bellamy, an eyebrow waggle from Clarke, and even Jasper offers him a brilliant grin that makes Nate feel like he’s in charge of the stars.

But none of it beats the feeling of Monty’s hand in his own.


End file.
